Thursday, 25 August 2016

The Highs and Lows of Parenting

Today has been much anticipated by Teen Two....GCSE results day.
Unlike many students, today's results will not impact on the next few years for Teen Two.
His place at college is secured by his EHCP for special needs, but none the less, he was eager to see what grades he had achieved.
He had worked so hard, spent so much time was a big day for him!
We arrived in good time and were one of the first through the door....
...finally the big moment came to open up that envelope!
I am proud to announce he achieved 8 F's and two U's.
Now the U's of course are not exactly what we wanted for him, but, one was for Citizenship and RE combined subjects.
Not only did he only attend half the lessons, as he had speech and language therapy instead ( much more important) the class he was in was so disruptive he used to dread going. The teacher sadly never managed to keep control of the class and having met her several times I am not surprised.
I don't like to criticise anyone doing a hard job, but this lady clearly had no passion for her subject or the students in her care....and that was the reason I chose for him to have his therapy during her lessons when French was dropped.
The second U came for Computer Science, which for some reason was introduced last year in place of the ICT course Teen Two was on.
Right from the start he didn't get on with the new course, but there was little could be done about it at this stage, so it was no surprise he was ungraded.
As for the F's, well few parents would celebrate an F, but for us having seen how hard he had worked, and knowing he is actually capable of better, given the right support and surroundings, we are thrilled that he understood enough during lesson, remembered enough in the exams to get any grade at all!
But by far, my proudest moments came when so many staff came to talk to me individually and tell me how much they will miss him, how he used to brighten their day, enhanced the school, supported younger students, helped those less fortunate than himself, was dedicated, hard working and overall a joy to teach.
A final comment was he would be the most missed student this year from all the staff!
What a proud mummy moment that was!
So...that as the the point of taking this photo I had no idea in a few moments I would be back with  a very downcast son.
As we were driving out of the school car park Teen Two mentioned a lad, who had bullied him, was there and had reminded Teen Two he knew where he lived and had moved nearer to us.
A potted history...this lad had been thinking up ways to kill Teen Two and had plagued him throughout the last year.
I was unaware of this until the final weeks of school and of course contacted school straight away.
I assured Teen Two it was a very bad joke and the lad didn't even know where we lived...but sadly he had quoted our address to Teen Two, so that assurance went straight out of the window!
I decided to turn the car round and go back to school and get a teacher to give some assurances.
Of course the school were saddened about this event and I of course regretted not shadowing him...but we all know that isn't the way forward and I can't always be there with him.
They assured Teen Two it was a foolish  joke and not to worry about it.
I thought that would be it and we could get on with the business of celebrating the day with a cooling drink from McDonalds!
We had bought the school yearbook and Teen Two was enjoying looking through it, seeing all his old mates and teachers, looking out for himself etc.
On the very last page was a whole year photo...and that's where it all unravelled again...
this bully had stood himself behind Teen Two and had his middle finger up at Teen Two...quite clearly chance of it being a chance of it being intended for the school as a whole....all these thoughts going through my mind as Teen Two understandably started to fall apart inside.
You can imagine how I felt and what I wanted to do to this bully!
Needless to say I got straight on to school, spoke with the SENCO who was mortified this had not been noticed before the books were published.
She went off to check the book for herself and came back to me to say on Monday she hopes to find a better photo to replace this one of my suggestions.
Having looked at the photo several times, I think it might be possible to scan it in and replace the bully with the brick wall he is standing sure Hubby can do something like that with it.
However, Teen Two will always know what is behind any doctoring/replacement and so will we.'s been a day of highs and lows and I end this blog with a question...
...would you leave the matter here, with no worries about any reprisal or would you ask the school to take action and the boys parents be informed of his bullying?
It's more than likely their paths will not cross again aside from the awards evening in we let sleeping dogs lie or not...and bear in mind todays verse!
Thursday August 25, 2016
Today's Proverb:
   A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.


  1. Personally I would always advise parents to go to the police - particularly as both students have left school and so school will be limited as to what they can do about the situation. Even if there is nothing that the police can do they can log the complaint and then you can monitor the situation. That being said - teen 2 should be proud of today - as should you and your family xx

    1. I did wonder about that, but its the possibility of reprisal/repercussions that worries me. It would be nice to think a frank talk from a policeman would frighten the bully into not doing it again, but I have no idea what the boy is like, what home he comes from, I don't want a bad situation to get worse :(

  2. I agree with Lynda, these things should be logged somewhere official. His parents would probably be mortified if they knew. Xxxx